Welcome to Our Latest Episode of… 'What Grinds My Gears'

 I am a “yes” mum… not in the cringey way, but in the I want my disabled child to have every experience kind of way.

My kids know this... Dante does try to milk it, but I'm no fool! Everything within reason, obviously. I'm not completely unhinged.

But generally, when my kids come to me and ask if they can try something, my first instinct isn't to shut them down and go on to list all the reasons why they can't.

It's.... 'Okay, how do we make this happen? Is it realistic?'

And when it comes to Kaedyn, sometimes the how takes a little more work, but I'm always up for a challenge.

Ice skating? Kaedyn figured that out on his own! Boots on, we may just need a lower-profile seat cushion so his feet can fully slide on the ice, but the music, the freedom, the chill, definitely my child! I skated as a kid, and I'm loving that my boys also enjoy being on the ice, so much so that now Dante is well into Ice Hockey!

But for Kaedyn, my mind goes...Okay. What equipment do we need? Who needs to be there? How do we transfer him? Is the venue accessible? What support does he need? I don't let much stand in my way when it comes to my kids, and I certainly don't believe Kaedyn should be the one who constantly misses out simply because his life looks a little different to everyone else's.

If he is willing to participate, he has the right to participate to the best of his ability.

And THAT brings us to today's episode of What Grinds My Gears!!

The adult-sized wet change table..

Now, for the uninitiated, you may be thinking: Vanessa, it's a change table. Calm down... umm, no! I've been on this since FEBRUARY! I have been plenty patient; I have given ample, generous timing for this to be sorted. Give me Google and a phone, and I would have had that done in a week tops. But nothing has happened without me babysitting the situation, and now I'm getting pissed off.

When your child is twelve years old, weighs around seventy kilos and requires physical assistance to change, a suitable change table isn't a luxury, its a human right. He has the right to access public spaces.

Without the change table, the alternative is parents, carers and support workers to physically manoeuvring a wet person in an unsuitable space, potentially risking injury to themselves and the person they're supporting...in my case Kaedyn.

And no, I can't just take Kaedyn home soaking wet; I also need to pick up my other child. We won't get home for 1.5hrs

I can't reasonably load him into his wheelchair and car, cold, wet and uncomfortable, and drive him home because appropriate accessible changing equipment isn't available because someone couldn't be bothered doing their job and decided the old one was broken so it's not worth replacing or it makes the space ugly... 

And we are talking about a large aquatic facility.

Balga Leisure Centre, which is significantly smaller, has two adult-sized wet change tables.

Two.

Meanwhile, we've spent weeks, months... trying to confirm whether a previously broken adult-sized change table at this facility will actually be replaced in time for Kaedyn to participate in school swimming lessons, which are actually compulsory by the education department, by the way.

And this is where my gears begin to grind.

I am more than happy to do the planning, transporting, transfers, manage the equipment, and even bring in extra support when I need to. I am his mum; I will do that for him and more, but it becomes incredibly frustrating when we do all the work to turn a potential “no” into a “yes”, only to hit a barrier that shouldn't be there in the first place.

Kaedyn shouldn't always be the one expected to miss out because someone got lazy or decided it wasn't important enough.

That doesn't make his right to participate any less important.

So, today I chose violence, not actual violence...yet! I sent a strongly worded email, and I may send another, or I may just show up and lose my shit and unload years of frustration on whoever chooses to stand in the way... the day is coming, there's only so much one person can take... I do have the crazy in me😜

As long as Kaedyn keeps saying he wants to participate, I'll keep figuring out how we do that. And occasionally, I'll be a pain in someone's inbox until they join me in figuring it out.